The mute conversation.
It was a sunny Saturday afternoon in Bhilai, I came to my cousin's place to meet him, I had to leave for Jaipur in the evening. I was supposed to come home in the morning but I woke up really late so I was in a hurry, also I had a headache because we partied really hard the other night. He dropped me to the bus stand to catch the city-bus. Luckily, the bus came just in time and I grabbed the seat right next to the front door of the bus.
The sky was as blue as it can be, there was a cool breeze and relatively less traffic than usual. Despite the peaceful environment, every sound felt like a hammer in my head, all of these things were making me anxious. Just when you think what else could get wrong from here, shit gets shittier. Soon the bus stopped and I saw a bunch of students in their school uniform.
I was sitting near the front door of the bus, about 10-12 students came in and started moving to the rear end of the bus to sit. I was expecting a loud discussion on "Why Kohli should not drop Ashwin for the next test series" or "Why Dutta madam taught chapter 3 before chapter 2" etc. but instead all I heard was clothes rustling. So, I turned and saw the students were communicating with through sign language, they were all mute, and their signs did give me a hint that they were indeed discussing something like "Why Kohli should not drop Ashwin for the next test series".
It would be really weird for you to know that I actually felt their excitement, just by looking at their hands and gestures. Happiness has a face and it is communicable, all it needs from its potential host is a will to smile.
We are occupied in this chaotic world so much that we are not excited about it, you living in this world is still the best thing that has happened to you. We do not realise that we are really privileged that we can read, understand and do things, things that will matter, things that will make a great impact in the world only if we are a little more excited.
Lately, I am feeling very distant from the world, dissociated, detached and finding things that make me happy is not as easy as it was earlier, many of you might have felt this at some point of time, I know this is temporary, I've been through something like this earlier. Finding something purposeful might help, I keep on reminding myself that it has to come from inside because "it's none else's job to make you happy".